3 Steps that Will Help Save Your Marriage
Posted: Thursday, September 25, 2008
by Tom Munson
When a marriage disolves and the party is over there is no better way to bring back the love and infatuation that you felt for each other than following a few simple yet powerful steps that will save your marriage.
First you should realize the the reason your marriage is or has broken up is probably because of a lack of communication by one or both of the people in the relationship. That and being self centered is why we are experiencing such a surge in divorces these days.
Even though that may seem like an impossible thing to do right now with all of the heartache you may be feeling, saving your marriage should be of the utmost importance to you at this point.
Step #1. As much as you may want to try as hard as you can to save your marriage by calling or showing up at the other persons house constantly, you need to back off and stop pushing the other to get back together.
They need room to think without being bombarded with sobbing phone calls. Just relax and stop the contact, let them call you when they are ready which generally won't take long.
They will be overly curious about why you stopped and want to know if you are starting to move on with your life. It will scare them enough to want to re-start contact with you.
Step #2 Stay calm and relaxed after you have made contact and don't overdo it. Casual contact once or twice a week is plenty. You don't want to push the other person away and when you are talking, and especially stay away from the blame game.
That's an easy trap to fall into and should be avoided at all costs. If this start to happen just stop the communication until you both calm down and then make an agreement with each other that you won't go there again.
Step #3 After you have been communicating for awhile and you seem to be getting along better, plan a special outing together that won't be considered a date.
Something that is not a date but more a casual meeting for a short time like a picnic or movie that you both would enjoy. DO NOT go through all the stuff that caused the breakup but think of the enjoyment of each others company.
Try to visualize the way it was when you first met each other and the attraction you felt for each other, that's where you want your mind to be.
It can be a difficult process to save your marriage but in the long run it is well worth the effort that you put into it.
Having a lifelong mate and best friend is one of the many pleasures that we derive from our time spent on this earth and can be the greatest pleasure of all.
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